Overcoming Lust in a Sex-Crazed World
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I took my affection to bed and left my emotions behind. Ah, the unfettered bliss of not being emotional. Sex is not a national airline - it's fun, and pleasure. I easily went back to one or two old lovers - and had a much friskier and, oddly enough, even more loving time than before. The good news is the 50s can be wonderful, too! Dr Louise Foxcroft: 'We need to stop repeating outdated assumptions about menopausal women'. So, new research suggests that women in their 40s might be having the best sex of their lives.
Well, wake up, what's new? Older women have always known this, but keep pretty quiet about it because of the mud that is hurled at them if they speak out.
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Look at our society's emphasis on youth and beauty and the way it despises signs of age; witness the furore when an older woman behaves in a sexual way and lets on that she still likes sex and wants it. The idea that older women have little or no interest in sex can be traced back to the 19th century and beyond. Some doctors recommended that women gave up sex completely when they hit 40, and believed that love should be banished for ever from their hearts once they were approaching menopause.
Women of our grandmothers' generation were even thought insane for loving sex. But today we can say that sex is better when you are older because of experience, independence, relief from the risk of pregnancy and, frankly, my dear, just not giving a damn.
A hundred years ago, a doctor called Heinrich Kisch wrote The Sexual Life Of Women, marvelling that it was 'precisely in women of the climacteric age [that] there often exists a strong desire'. His influential contemporary, Dame Mary Scharlieb MD, thought it was 'extremely pathetic to find women well on to 50 years of age who are apparently as keen on sexual enjoyment as a bride might be'. Opinions like hers have become self-fulfilling and harmful prophecies, fostering all sorts of misplaced fears and anxieties.
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The sexualisation of our society has undoubtedly muddied people's expectations and understanding of sex, and turned it into a looks and performance-oriented, one-trick pony parody, when it is a much deeper and rarer creature. Some women, of course, experience a lowering of their libido when they pass 40 - and might be quite content with that; pleased, even. Undoubtedly, this is how sexuality can sometimes be when you are older, no longer fully available or centred on the lives and needs of others, and able to experience a more reflective sexual response.
Changes which may occur around the time of menopause might equally be caused by other life events involving partners, work, children, elderly parents, quality of sleep and health.
Yet if women report a loss of interest in sex they may find themselves being prescribed hormones to maintain a higher level of libido, despite an incompatibility with other aspects of their mid-life experience. Historically, absurd assumptions such as the idea that sex stops, or at least should stop, at menopause have had serious implications for the treatment, health and well-being of post-menopausal women. Research by groups such as The Pennell Initiative for Women's Health, a charity campaigning for the needs of women over the age of 45, which has commissioned research into sexuality and the menopause, is trying to rectify the mistakes.
The Pennell study of attempted to demystify what, for many, remains a taboo subject, and to show that sex is important to many older women. Further, according to The New Hite Report , older women are more likely to enjoy more multiple orgasms than younger women, and the confusion between reproductive activity and sexual pleasure is playing havoc with our lives. We need to stop repeating and relying on outdated assumptions about menopausal and older women. Some women may want to get back on the sexual merry-go-round, others may want to get off it.
But whichever you choose, the truth is that freedom is a well-documented aphrodisiac. Self-confidence helps keep the sex urge primed at any time of life, and it's good to know that the ageism generally practised against women doesn't inhibit that. Certainly, most of the older female pop stars I've known are incapable of entering a recording session without first eyeing up a promising young male guitarist. A marriage that one started in one's 20s might well have become stale by one's 40s - in the bedroom most of all.
One famous French writer certainly thought so when he described a wife as 'a couch on which one makes love to the woman of one's dreams'. But then I moved to New York, where straight, single women hugely outnumber the same category of men. Suddenly they were coming at me from all directions, like Exocet missiles. I did not marry until the age of 47 - but to the right person. And since then, absolutely everything - including sex, of course - has been infinitely better than it was before. A woman's sex drive is dependent on many things, including psychological factors and hormones, says Peter Bowen-Simpkins, a spokesperson for the Royal College of Gynaecologists and Obstetricians and medical director of the London Women's Clinic.
Testosterone is traditionally thought of as a male hormone, but all women produce it from puberty. However, it is a very powerful hormone, so women produce the sex hormone-binding globulin SHBG , which mops up much of the testosterone to help keep its effects in check.
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The knock-on effect of this would be an increase in testosterone - which could lead to increased desire. There are other explanations for this age group's sexual desire, such as the female hormone, oxytocin. Professor Ellis Downes, consultant gynaecologist and obstetrician at Chase Farm Hospital, Middlesex, says: 'It can help promote the bond a woman feels with her partner. However, while levels tend to drop a little as a women gets older, the more sex a women has the more oxytocin she produces - it is known as the libido meter.
He adds that an awareness of the benefits of doing pelvic floor exercises, plus the increased number of Caesarean births natural births can weaken pelvic floor musles , could also be factors. No comments have so far been submitted. Why not be the first to send us your thoughts, or debate this issue live on our message boards.
Who says it's just the young who have passionate love lives? Does a woman's sex life really begin at forty? Molly Parkin: 'My superior sex life started in middle age'. Share this article Share.
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Airbnb flat fully equipped with sex toys, mirrored ceilings and wall-to-wall erotica Hamleys top 10 Christmas toys revealed - including an abandoned toy pet that needs a human connection to You can update your billing information here. Use Alternate Player. Learn More. LOG IN. Browse Features. Sex Crazed Culture Ed Young. Sex Crazed Culture. Is Sex Sacred? Sex is a sacred gift from God that He designed to be celebrated in marriage.
And the truth is, the Church has fallen down on the job and allowed the secular realm to inform how human sexuality should be viewed.exlithahkartcell.cf
An Older Virgin in a Sex-crazed World
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Redeemed Like David: How to Overcome Sexual Temptation | exavogulirit.cf
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